1. |
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Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael Douglas eating Catherine Zeta Jones’s pussy gave him cancer
When Michael Douglas got the diagnosis
He blamed it on the thing he loved the most-est
Not the cigarettes or whiskey sours
Or radiation from the cellphone towers
He told the papers it was plain to see
What gave him cancer was the HPV
Not asbestos or the cocaine binges
He blamed the cancer on the cunnilingus
One, two, three, four
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael Douglas eating Catherine Zeta Jones’s pussy gave him cancer
But this is not a precautionary song
As it turns out he was probably wrong
Cancer can be caused by many factors
Not exclusively the pussies of actors
And while I’m a big fan of sexual health
Some speculations should be kept to yourself
Don’t tell the world you’re sick ‘cause you’re a regular diner
On your famous wife’s deadly carcinogenic vagina
One, two, three, four
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael eating pussy
Michael Douglas eating Catherine Zeta Jones’s pussy gave him cancer
So if she ever made her way to my bed
And she wanted some head
I wouldn’t care what he said
Although I know that he said
That it was cancerous head
I’d throw my caution to the wind and take my chances instead
So eat the pussy
Eat the pussy (repeat)
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2. |
Sticky In Three Ways
04:21
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I want you to know though I know you’re a ghost
That your spirit’s the spirit that I want the most
And I want you to know girl that I want you so
But I have no idea how to pleasure a ghost
How can I fuck a girl that is only a soul?
With no holes I can penetrate or hands I can hold
All I desire is a lover with life
And I wish I could exercise you from my life
I wish I could exercise you from my life
I thought I was doomed to wander this world alone
‘Till a girl caught my eye and then I met her clone
Now you’ve stolen my heart with your stolen genomes
I love your moans, your cheekbones, your cloned erogenous zones
But now the secret laboratory’s burned to the ground
And the government agency’s hunting you down
I thought I desired an original girl
Now I just wish there was more of you in this world
I just wish there was more of you in this world
I was lonely perusing the Necronomicon
When an etching of a sweet demon babe turned me on
So I called up your number, it read 666
Hoping to find a kind demon to possess my dick
Now when I kiss you girl the sky fills up with light
And the seas start to boil and the ravens take flight
And all mortal souls fall to their knees at the sight
‘Cause you are the harbinger of an eternal night
You are the harbinger of an eternal night
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3. |
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You asked me a question the other day
That you’d been discussing with a friend
About the requirements of a porno film
That I’d watch from start to end
A pornographic film to inspire my
wandering mind as I masturbate
And even hold onto my attention
After I ejaculate
A porno I would watch the whole way through
It would have ass and tits and cocks and clits
And all that’s in between
There’d be some P in V, threeways, DP, double D’s
A’s B’s and C’s
There’d be a searing indictment
On heteronormativity
And it would also quite likely be
A batman parody
A porno I would watch the whole way through
Would have a thought-provoking
subversion of traditional gender roles
Not to mention oh so many objects
Penetrating oh so many holes
But you know I’ve seen those things in other films
And it never seem to do
‘Cause there is just one missing thing I’d need
To really get me through
Because it’s true
A porno I would watch the whole way through
Would have to be a porno starring you
And I’m not saying it’s appropriate
Or necessarily even true
To say that the only smut I could get off to
Would be a porno starring you
And I know as far as
conventional romantic sentiment generally goes
You’re not s’posed to propose pornoes
starring those you’d like to get to know
It’s not what boyfriends are supposed to do
But I guess what I’m really saying
Is that the feelings I have for you
Are the kind that are likely to make me want to
See the whole thing through
Because it’s true
A porno I would watch the whole way through
Would have to be a porno starring you
And yes we would cast other women
And we would cast other men
Played by industry professionals
Or just sexy mutual friends
Because variety’s the spice of life
And it’s pointless to pretend
That our love is unrecoverable
From another’s rear end
I’m just hoping once this porno
Reaches its climactic end
That the twists that line the script
Will bring me fucking once again
Back to you
And there’ll be nothing in this pornographic world we couldn’t do
Because it’s true
A porno I would watch the whole way through
Would have to be a porno starring Catherine Zeta Jones
And you
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Loveboner Melbourne, Australia
We are Loveboner.
We play love songs.
Laura plays the instrument.
Chris plays the drums and sings.
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